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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25809901">Love is in the swamp tonight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shrek (Movies), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But barely even funny, Crack, Irresponsible Drug Use, Jaskier and Donkey are BFFs, M/M, Nothing too bad I'd say though, Shrek is Love Shrek is Life, Shreralt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:33:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25809901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Geralt and Jaskier end up travelling to a place far far away</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Shrek (Shrek)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love is in the swamp tonight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am very sorry but my girlfriend dared me to do it (and promised me pizza if I write this)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This whole mess was of course only Jaskier's fault. Or so Geralt liked to pretend.</p><p>Jaskier had noticed him being even more grumpy than usual after Yennefer and he had broken up (again) and he had decided to do something about it. His brilliant solution to all of Geralt's problem was getting high as fuck and forgetting all about Yennefer for one night. So, he bought some herbs from an alchemist in the next town they visited that week. Geralt easily identified them as relative common water plant which while mildly hallucinogenic to humans was surely not strong enough to affect a witcher in any shape or form. His travel companion seemed extremely confident in his plan though so Geralt decided he would indulge the bard a little longer. The worst thing that could happen was Jaskier being the only one to be affected by it and making a fool of himself. Nothing Geralt hadn't seen before. In fact, the whole ordeal became even funnier in Geralt's point of view when Jaskier had told him he had performed "a little spell" on the herbs to make their effect more powerful. "You don't even have magic powers", he had argued. But Jaskier only answered "Oh please, every bard has a little bit of magic" and "We used to do this all the time at Oxenfurt. This could knock out an angry werewolf". So, to prove him wrong Geralt ended up eating almost all the herbs Jaskier had bought in one go after not feeling much of an effect from the little amount Jaskier gave him to try. After a few minutes of absolutely nothing, he grinned triumphantly at Jaskier ready to boost about being in the right once again when it hit him all at once and his brain felt like being trampled on by a whole pack of wargs.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~</p><p> </p><p>The sun was shining on his face and somewhere in the background, he could hear a faint thumping sound mixed with someone quietly humming. When he managed to open his eyes and take in his strange surroundings Geralt found himself laying in a rather big bed with Jaskier who was still fast asleep. He had somehow ended up sprawled over Geralt's legs and was currently drooling a bit on his knee. Great, he thought to himself but at least he was wearing pants.<br/>
To his surprised, he felt comparatively well-rested even though he could barely remember anything from the last night. He remembered sitting at their camp in the forest and looking back what might have been a misjudgement on his parts. He also thought there might have been some sort of forest party later in the night with all sorts of magical creatures attending. Geralt could vaguely remember dancing with a stranger who was even taller than him. When trying to remember more details about that part his memory failed him unfortunately and the only thing, he could recall was feeling really happy. Probably happier than he had felt for the past few weeks or months really. That and Jaskier singing karaoke with a donkey. But donkeys couldn't sing so that might be part of the sides effect of the herbs. Or maybe no party had ever happened at all and it was purely a figment of his imagination.</p><p>Looking around he realised they were in some sort of cabin. His swords and Jaskier's lute were leaning against the wall next to the nightstand and he found their boots standing next to the end of the bed. All signs were pointing to them deciding to sleep here voluntarily which would match his vague memories of feeling happy and not threatened at any point of the night. And somehow a part of him seemed to hope that the owner of this cabin was, in fact, the mysterious person he had danced with last night. Even from the little he could remember he hoped to meet them again.</p><p>Suddenly Geralt felt restless and the thought of simply waiting until their unknown host revealed themselves or until Jaskier would wake up seemed unbearable to him. Therefore he wiggled his legs free from Jaskier whose sleep seemingly didn't get disturbed by the loss of his pillow. He simply mumbled something and turned around clutching the thin blanket tighter. Geralt put on his boots and decided to investigate the sounds still coming from outside.</p><p>When he stepped outside he realised they certainly weren't in the same part of the forest they started their little experiment in anymore. Instead, the cabin seemed to be located on the edge of a swamp. He also spotted the source of the noise. A tall man, evidently an ogre, was chopping wood with his back turned to Geralt. He hummed a melody Geralt didn't recognise and hadn't noticed Geralt watching him yet. Even though he couldn't really see the ogres face and only heard his voice, Geralt knew for certain that this was the person he had danced with last night. He felt his heart beating faster and suddenly hoped he hadn't ruined all his chances last night by being an idiot high on some weird bard herbs.</p><p>Then he suddenly heard a loud shout "Hey, Shrek! Your guests have woken up."</p><p>The ogre, Shrek apparently, turned around to greet the speaker who just entered the little area in front of the cabin. To Geralt's surprise, they weren't a humanoid but a donkey. A talking donkey. Who might have done karaoke last night with Jaskier as it seemed. And who now turned to Geralt and spoke to him as if they were old friends.</p><p>"Geralt, didn't expect you to be up so soon. Do you have any idea where Jaskier is? He promised me to do a jam session together before you two leave. Oh and I hope it's not a problem I brought Peanut with me. The lil rascal has been begging me to meet a real bard the whole morning. As if his dad isn't a talented musician himself."</p><p>The donkey couldn't only talk, he apparently also talked a mile an hour. And while Geralt could have gotten over a talking donkey pretty fast, he was even more confused when suddenly a small creature stumbled from the bushes onto the path leading to the cabin. At first glance, one might have thought it was a little donkey if it weren't for the dragon-like wings on its back and the little cloud of smoke coming from his nostril when it stood up again. Geralt couldn't help but stare a little. He had never seen such a creature before. His thoughts were interrupted when Jaskier spoke up behind him.</p><p>"Yes, his mom is a dragon and his dad is a donkey. Come on Geralt, keep up", he said before adding a little quieter so that Peanut couldn't hear him. "As if you've never fucked a dragon before."</p><p>Then he proceeded to greet Peanut and the donkey, whose name was apparently Donkey, while giving Shrek a friendly nod. Donkey, Peanut and Jaskier talked enough for all five of them and soon they went back into the cabin to start what Donkey had called a jam session leaving only Geralt and Shrek awkwardly glancing at each other.</p><p>"So ehm you maybe want to go to the lake to catch some fish for dinner? It would involve considerably less talking and singing than whatever they are up to", Shrek suggested. Geralt only nodded and so they made their way to the lake.</p><p>At first, they just sat together mostly in silence. It was a comfortable sort of silence in the beginning but after a while, it became obvious that they both wanted to talk but didn't know how or where to start. Sitting there side by side, shoulders and arms occasionally touching eventually became too much for both of them, the calm and relaxed atmosphere long gone.</p><p>"What exactly did we do last night?", Geralt blurted out eventually. Shrek only shrugged. Geralt hoped he hadn't sounded too gruff but then Shrek spoke up.</p><p>"We had a few drinks, we talked a bit but mostly we danced."</p><p>"And that's all?", Geralt couldn't help but dig further. Again Shrek stayed silent at first as if not sure what to say.</p><p>"You wanted to kiss me but you seemed really wasted, to be honest. I didn't want you to do something you never really wanted or might regret later. But since you and Jaskier couldn't exactly go back to your world, we decided it would probably be best for you to stay with me for the night." He seemed embarrassed telling Geralt about last night even though Geralt really thought he should be the one feeling embarrassed. Geralt could feel his heart beating fast again and before he could think twice about it he turned to face Shrek and -<br/>
"Well, then kiss me now. I am surely not inebriated and won't forget any part of this."</p><p>Shrek's eyes widened. "You don't really mean that. You don't know what you're talking about. I mean you said it yourself you don't even remember last night." He stammered but Geralt had made up his mind.<br/>
"I might not remember a lot but I do remember us having a great time together. I also remember feeling drawn to you and I feel like I can be myself around you and I'm sorry if I've misinterpreted things but I thought you felt the same last night as well as today."</p><p>"No, you didn't in the slightest. It's just, I'm an ogre and you well you're a human and I don't exactly have the best track record with humans and you're also well I mean-" Shrek trailed off not knowing how to continue.<br/>
"I don't care. And it's not like my track record with humans is the best either. Most of them would probably scoff at you for calling me one at all. So I don't see why kissing you would be a bad idea." Now Geralt was grinning and when he looked at Shrek again he could see that he was smiling as well.</p><p>"Well, I guess it most likely wouldn't hurt to test out what that tension between us last night was."<br/>
Then he slowly leaned in. They both closed their eyes and Geralt reached out to cup Shrek's jaw. Their lips would have touched if it wasn't for Donkey who suddenly burst in from the woods.</p><p>"Ugh, guys. Can't leave you two alone for two minutes. Anyways I'm really sorry to ruin your little moment here or whatever but some weird goth witch, Janet or whatever, just called and she needs Jaskier but especially Geralt to come back to deal with some plague of giant insects asap. And now I need to go back before Jaskier lets Peanut burn down your house. So hurry up."</p><p>Then Donkey left again but the moment was of course completely ruined already. So Shrek quickly followed after him leaving Geralt alone at the lake to ponder how he felt about Yennefer of all people asking him to help her. Especially after everything that happened with Shrek and now that he finally felt content for the first time in months in this weird little world he and Jaskier had found themselves in.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Geralt fucked a dragon you heard it here first.<br/>And yes in the books Geralt has an orgy with Borch the dragon and his two bodyguards (in a large bathtub) (or so I've been told)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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